Autism and Montessori: From Awareness to Acceptance and Understanding

By Maria Eva Chaffin

So, what is autism?

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a neurodevelopmental difference that affects how a person experiences the world, communicates, and interacts with others. It’s not something to be fixed. It’s a different way of being. As Sean Inderbitzen, autistic therapist and author of Autism in Polyvagal Terms, reminds us:

“The goal is not compliance, but co-regulation and connection.”

The CDC’s latest numbers show that 1 in 31 children in the U.S. is diagnosed with autism. That means it’s not rare. What is rare, unfortunately, is widespread understanding, especially in educational settings.

This is where Montessori can shine.

Why Montessori and Autism Are a Natural Match

Dr. Maria Montessori once said, “Free the child’s potential, and you will transform the world.”

Children with autism don’t need fixing, they need freedom, structure, support, and safety. They need adults who see their strengths and are curious about their needs. The Montessori environment offers:

✔️ A prepared, predictable space

✔️ A focus on independence

✔️ Respect for each child’s pace

✔️ Freedom within limits

✔️ Multi-sensory, hands-on learning

✔️ Fewer transitions and more time to focus

But even with this beautiful foundation, we must go further, especially when supporting children whose nervous systems may live more often in a state of stress.

Polyvagal Theory: Understanding Behavior Through the Body

Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory gives us a powerful lens for seeing behavior as biology, not misbehavior.

It tells us that children (and all humans) move through three nervous system states:

• 🧠 Safe & Social (Ventral Vagal): calm, open, ready to learn

• ⚡ Fight or Flight (Sympathetic): anxious, overwhelmed

• 🧊 Shutdown (Dorsal Vagal): disconnected, withdrawn

Many autistic children experience more time in sympathetic or dorsal states, especially in environments that feel overwhelming or unpredictable.

So instead of asking “What’s wrong with them?” we ask,

“What’s happening in their nervous system?”

“What do they need to feel safe?”

This shift changes everything.

Let’s Talk About Stimming

Stimming, rocking, flapping, humming, spinning, is often misunderstood. But it’s a powerful self-regulation tool for many autistic individuals. It helps them stay connected to their bodies, to feel calm, or to manage sensory input.

✨ Stimming is not something to stop. It’s something to understand.

If the stimming becomes disruptive to others or the child, we can:

- Observe when and why it’s happening

- Offer alternative forms of regulation (heavy work, fidget tools, quiet corners)

- Lower demands and increase predictability

We don’t take away the tool, we support the need underneath it.

What Montessori Teachers and Parents Can Do

Here’s how we move from awareness to action:

1. Prepare the adult first

If we’re stressed or rushed, our nervous system will signal danger to the child. Start with yourself. Breathe. Ground. Be the anchor.

2. Respect sensory needs

Some children need more movement, others need quiet. Observe. Adapt. Allow noise-canceling headphones, movement breaks, and simple, uncluttered spaces.

3. Support transitions with visuals

Use picture schedules, sand timers, and clear cues. Give extra wait time. Make routines predictable.

4. Value connection over correction

Before giving a direction, connect. Sit near. Use a calm tone. Offer choices. Help the child feel seen and safe before you ask anything of them.

5. Celebrate the whole child

Look beyond goals. See their creativity, humor, persistence, and deep interests. These are gifts. Amplify them.

Words Matter: Acceptance Over Awareness

Awareness says, “I know autism exists.”

Acceptance says, “I see you. I honor you. I want to understand.”

We teach our children to love learning. Let’s teach ourselves to love unlearning, too, to let go of myths and outdated ideas about autism and embrace a more compassionate, informed path forward.

As Dr. Mona Delahooke says:

“Behavior is just the tip of the iceberg. What lies beneath is the key to connection.”

In My Heart

I've worked with neurodivergent children for over 25 years. Every year, I learn more from them than from any book. The more I slow down, the more I listen, the more I prepare myself, the more they shine.

Let’s create classrooms where every nervous system feels safe. Where rocking is welcome. Where curiosity leads. Where love speaks louder than correction.

Because when we understand autism through connection, we don’t just support learning—we nurture joy, trust, and a sense of belonging.

And that, dear friends, is the heart of Montessori.