The hardest part about becoming a better teacher wasn’t learning about children. It was learning about myself.

When I decided to pursue my Polyvagal Theory certification, it wasn’t just to add another credential to my name. It was because I needed to understand, deeply, what was happening inside me.

I’ve always been passionate about supporting neurodivergent children. I’ve trained teachers and leaders around the world on how to observe, adapt, and connect. But there was still something I couldn’t quite explain: why even the most knowledgeable, loving adults sometimes misjudge children, especially the ones who move differently, feel differently, and learn differently.

So, I started with myself.

The Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, gave me the understanding I needed. It helped me see that our nervous system is constantly scanning (Neuroception) for safety or danger and shifting between different states, sometimes we feel calm and connected, sometimes we’re in fight-or-flight, and other times we shut down completely. I started noticing which of these states I was in, and more importantly, what I needed to do, so I could return back to regulation.

One of the most valuable lessons I learned during this certification was about anchors, such as personal practices, or experiences that help bring the nervous system back to calm and safety. For me, those anchors became things like stepping outside to feel the air, focusing on my breath, listening to music, or simply connecting with someone I trust (my favorite). These anchors have become part of my everyday life. They help me reset, they help me navigate my ADHD, and they help me show up for others.

That is my WHY I embarked on this journey, but next is how it fundamentally changed me, my work and my experiences.

It helped me show up for my students and my colleagues differently.

It helped me teach others from a place of lived experience, not just theory.

And now it’s at the heart of what I share in my courses. Because if we don’t understand our own nervous system, we will never fully understand the kiddos in front of us.

So often, we mislabel or judge kids. We call them defiant, lazy, disruptive, or unmotivated, because we can’t see what’s really going on inside their bodies, inside their nervous system.

But when we do this work ourselves, when we learn to regulate, to co-regulate, and to read our own cues, we unlock the ability to truly see and support others, especially neurodivergent children.

I am proud of myself for choosing this path.

It wasn’t easy. It made me vulnerable. It made me look at myself honestly.

But that’s what makes it real.

That’s what makes it transformative.

Maria Montessori understood this long before we had neuroscience. She taught us that the greatest preparation of the teacher is not just intellectual , it is spiritual, emotional, and relational.

Polyvagal Theory gave me the language, the science, and the tools to deepen that preparation.

And it’s helping me, help others, every single day.

If you’re a teacher, a leader, a parent, this work starts with you.

Before we can regulate children, we must regulate ourselves.

Before we can teach peace, we must find it in our own bodies.

And that is the kind of work that changes lives.

Maria Chaffin